Welcoming Home a Baby: A Guide for Intended Parents

Are you expecting a baby by surrogacy? As in intended parent, that long-awaited day you finally get to bring your baby home is full of many emotions. Joy, excitement, relief, and most likely some nerves, too. No matter how your baby comes into your life, welcoming a newborn into your home is a significant event. Having a baby by surrogacy can add a layer of added pressure for everything to be perfect. But rest assured, babies don’t need perfect parents – they need loving parents who have the tools and support system to care for them. Let’s talk about how to make that happen!

Prepare Your Home

Preparing your home for a new baby makes it all start to feel so real. When you’re having a baby by surrogacy, milestones like setting up the nursery can have an even deeper impact – it’s finally happening! Beyond the basics of a safe sleep space, changing table, and place to store your baby’s clothes, it’s important to prepare spaces for you – the parents – to be comfortable while you care for your baby.

For example, invest in comfortable seating like rocking chairs or gliders. Depending on how you plan to feed your baby, you may want to install a mini-fridge in or closer to the nursery if you’re planning to feed donor breastmilk or formula made ahead.

You’ll also want to stock up on essentials like diapers, wipes, diaper cream, and bottles. But don’t go too crazy! You might find that you have to shift brands of types of products as you get to know your baby better.

Lastly, don’t forget to install your car seat ahead of time! It’s recommended to visit a car seat inspection station to ensure a secure fit.

Prepare Your Family

If older siblings are in the mix, take plenty of time to prepare them ahead of time for their new baby siblings. Books like this one are written specifically for older siblings of babies born via surrogacy.

If you have extended family support, don’t expect it to fall into place naturally. It’s helpful to understand your family member’s strengths – and weaknesses – so they can be the best support system for you. For example, grandparents may offer to help overnight, but they might be better suited for helping out around the house during the day. Long-distance relatives can send gift cards for meal delivery or services like housecleaning. It takes a village!

Prepare for Visitors

When you finally get to bring you new baby home, your friends and family will be so excited for you, too. Be sure to make a plan for visitors. You might welcome the visits, or you might want protected time to bond with your new baby.

If you do plan to allow some visitors, make sure you’re not expecting to entertain them. Everyone who visits a family with a new baby should expect to contribute in some way, whether by bringing a meal, holding the baby while you catch up on self-care, or folding baby laundry while you chat.

Learn About Newborn Care

Before you bring your baby home, you’ll want to learn the ins and outs of newborn care. Take a class to learn about feeding your baby, burping, diapering, soothing, sleep conditioning, and developmental milestones.

When you’re having a baby by surrogacy, you may have the option to feed your baby expressed breastmilk donated by the surrogate herself. This is something you would agree upon beforehand, but it’s also important to be open to the plan adjusting depending on the baby or surrogate’s needs. If you do agree to offer surrogate-provided breastmilk, the expectation typically involves the intended parents providing the breast pump, breastmilk storage supplies, and paying for the surrogate’s time as well as breastmilk shipping costs.

When considering feeding choices, you can also choose to formula feed, use donor milk, or some combination of any of these choices.

Build Your Support Team

You deserve a robust support system to welcome home your baby. Many new parents deeply appreciate the support of a Newborn Care Specialist when bringing home a baby born by surrogacy or other means. Newborn Care Specialists can provide daytime, overnight, or around-the-clock care to ease the transition home with a new baby. They provide education, emotional support, and respite so parents can avoid sleep deprivation.

Newborn Care Specialists help your whole family get into good rhythms and routines, making life with a new baby less stressful. They are there to provide guidance and reassurance as you navigate the early weeks and months of life as a parent.

Take Care of Yourself

New parenthood is a joyful season of life. But it’s also a challenging one. Taking care of a new baby is a demanding role, and parents often face very little time for self-care. By following the above tips, you can help prevent that situation and protect time for yourself.

Having a baby by surrogacy is a long and emotional journey. When you finally get to bring your baby home, the adventure takes on a whole new twist. You deserve support as you navigate this new chapter! By following the above tips, your transition home with your new baby will be as smooth as possible.