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Why didn’t anybody tell me about this? You might find yourself thinking that pretty frequently over the first few weeks (months or years) of your postpartum journey. No matter the amount of classes you take, parents you talk to or books you read, there are some moments that can catch you off guard and leave you wondering why you weren’t warned. Your little one is finally here and with that comes the overwhelming hormones, a new version of you, and sometimes grief over the transition from pregnant to parent. Here are some moments that might catch you off guard the first few weeks postpartum. I just had my baby last week, and I want to share some of the the surprising postpartum moments for me.
- Moving from labor and delivery to a recovery room. This happens once you’ve given birth and you and your baby are doing well. The move is meant to transition you to the floor where you’ll remain until you’re discharged, but often the shift to a new floor and new staff can be a little startling. Know that you and your newborn are in great hands and the staff in the recovery ward is amazing and there to help you on your journey from patient to parent.
- If your baby is taken to the nursery for any reason, from weight checks to your decision to get some solid sleep, the emotions of not having your baby with you might take you by surprise. No one warns you that the first time your baby isn’t with you can feel like someone taking part of you away. And with those fun new hormones, it can be extremely overwhelming. Asking to have weight checks and testing done in the room or having your partner accompany your baby to the nursery is a good way to feel better about not physically being with your baby for a few minutes.
- The grief of moving from pregnant to parent. Even under the best circumstances where everything goes according to your birth plan, moving from being pregnant to becoming a parent can leave you grieving the time where your baby was part of you. If you’re still pregnant, you may be laughing because your back hurts and you just got up to use the bathroom for the 50th time this evening, but there can be something so special about being pregnant. Even when your newborn is in your arms, you may miss the moments of feeling them wiggling around inside you.
- Leaving the hospital can make you feel out of your depth (and like you’re stealing a baby.) Most people don’t enjoy staying in the hospital, but there’s something to be said for having a staff that takes care of you while you take care of your baby. Leaving that sterile atmosphere and taking your baby into the world for the first time is scary, but being home with them is a new type of joy and comfort that can ease your fears.
- Your partner can surprise you. Everyone has heard horror stories of partners passing out while the baby crowns, but what’s not often talked about is how amazing it can be to see your partner grow in their new role. It’s a beautiful thing to watch and learn those new roles together (even at 3 a.m. when no one is happy to be awake.) Your love for your partner will grow in new and interesting ways.
- You might be really tired! (Okay maybe not a big surprise). It’s crazy that every parent goes through this journey and that the exhaustion is normalized. This is part of why I work as a Newborn Care Specialist to help postpartum parents get through the hardest stages.
- You’re still you, but not. It can be difficult to wrap your head around this new version of you. Yes, you’re a parent, but you’re still the same person you’ve always been. It can feel strange as those two people meet and merge, trying to find how to coexist. Try finding small moments of self care during the day; like listening to your favorite band in the shower or watching a show you love while feeding your baby. Little things can help ground you and help you more like yourself.
There are hundreds of more moments that can take you by surprise, large or small. The most important thing is to recognize that while your baby is growing, so are you. You learn and move forward together and in the moments that aren’t easy, know that you aren’t alone. In the moments that warm your heart, know that you’ll look back and cherish those forever. Birth is one part of parenthood, the first moments of it, but there are years to come of lovely and surprising times that will sweep you off your feet.
