How To Gently Sleep Train A Newborn Baby (Without Crying Yourself To Sleep)

One of the most commonly asked questions from our overnight newborn care clients at Nightingale Night Nurses is “Can you sleep train my newborn?” Well, the answer depends on what your definition of sleep training newborns is!

What is sleep training?

At Nightingales, we feel like the definition of sleep training is somewhat vague and unclear to new parents. Here’s our definition:

Sleep training is the process of breaking down unhelpful sleep habits and replacing them with beneficial habits and routines.

Sleep training is best for babies over 5 months old. Results can take anywhere from 72 hours-30 days depending on the plan a parent chooses. All sleep training plans should be developmentally appropriate and take into account the baby’s age, parent’s preferences, overall food/milk intake and other factors.

Oxford Dictionary defines sleep training as:

“The process of training young children to fall asleep on their own, typically by means of techniques in which the child is left to cry without being comforted, either for gradually increasing periods of time or until they fall asleep.”

We also like The Bump’s definition:

“Simply put, sleep training—also called sleep teaching or sleep learning—is the process of helping your infant learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep.”

Did you notice that part about “Sleep Training is best for children older than 5+ months”?
What can you do for newborns to help them create strong sleep habits – ones that you won’t have to break later? That’s what we call “Sleep Conditioning” [Aka Sleep Shaping]. [We’ll talk more about that soon]

Consider ‘sleep conditioning’ instead of ‘sleep training’ for your newborn

Sleep conditioning is different from sleep training — which sometimes involves methods that aren’t appropriate for newborns [like the Cry It Out method.]

Sleep Conditioning gently teaches your baby how to receive the best quality sleep possible.

It’s utilizing all of the tools in our disposal to teach your baby healthy sleep habits. This is generally done in a baby’s first 3-4 months. [Sleep conditioning is mostly effective before the 4 month sleep regression.]

The Nightingale method of sleep conditioning is responsive to your baby’s needs and natural rhythms in a developmentally appropriate way. We set the goal of longer stretches between feedings at night and longer/more consistent naps during the day. Sleep conditioning should be a slow, gradual, gentle process that involves minimal to no crying and is typically utilized for babies 0-16 weeks.

So what does Newborn Sleep Conditioning look like:

One of our goals at Nightingales is to teach your baby to sleep to the best of their individual ability. If your baby is eating well and gaining weight appropriately, doesn’t have any issues with colic, gas or reflux, and is generally healthy and happy…then our goal is to start working on SLEEP! Yes, right from day one. It’s never too early to start sleep conditioning.

There is no magic wand when it comes to making newborns sleep better. Our whole process leans heavily on a few different things:

1. Slowly stretching nighttime feeds. This means if your baby usually eats at 2am, the next night we might try to hold them off until 2:10am, and the night after that 2:20am. Over time your baby will get used to doing longer and longer stretches in between overnight feedings!
   • For clients who hire Nightingale Night Nurses for in-home care, we are able to help lengthen feedings on schedules 4 nights week or more.
2. Getting your baby on a schedule during the day. We need to make sure that baby is getting enough to eat during the day, and that they aren’t too overtired to be able to settle to sleep at night.
   • For our clients who hire Nightingale Night Nurses for 24/7 in-home care, we can help with getting your baby on an around-the-clock schedule.
   • For clients who hire Nightingale Night Nurses for overnight newborn care, then the parents or other caregivers are responsible for the day schedule, and we can provide guidance during our shift transitions. [We recommend an eat play sleep schedule.]
3. Teaching your baby to fall asleep independently – and fall back to sleep independently! This is a slow process over the first 12-16 weeks. Our favorite way to do this is by utilizing something that Baby Care Classes has coined the “Sleep Steps” to teach baby to fall asleep IN their sleep space.
   • For clients who hire Nightingale Night Nurses for in-home care, we are able to help your baby sleep to the best of their abilities!

Sleep Steps:

We understand your baby and their temperament, their hunger cues and what they respond well to. [For more detail check out BCC’s blog on the Sleep Steps method.]

1. Pause – We don’t rush over to your baby the moment they begin to fuss. We wait it out and watch/listen. If they escalate, we support them. But often babies are only making noises in their sleep or are very capable of getting themselves back to sleep! When we intervene, we often take away their ability to self soothe.
2. Sound – We always recommend sound machines for newborns, but when a baby is starting to fuss, you might want to consider turning up the sound or introducing a shusher.
3. Pacifier – If your baby takes a pacifier, this is the time to offer it to them! We might give them a Paci and hold it in. Or we might pop it in quickly and then hide from them!
4. Third eye or closing eyes – This is when you/we are gently encouraging your baby to close their eyes. This can be with a heavy hand on the eyebrows, covering the eyes or stroking in between the eyes.
5. Gentle hands on reassurance or manipulating sleep space – This means you start to move your baby! Cribs like the SNOO and Cradlewise physically move your baby. Or we as caregivers will put our hands on your baby and offer them some soothing movements…while they are still in the crib! Rock a bye baby in a different format.
6. Firmer hands on reassurance – In this stage you really start moving. SNOO on its highest setting, or wiggling baby. Think of the movement of standing and bouncing your baby to sleep. Or the movement of a stroller on a trail where their head is gently lolling. However, we are doing this when your baby is in their sleep space.
7. Holding – If your baby isn’t responding to soothing in their crib then we will always pick them up and cuddle them.
8. Feeding – If your baby is showing signs that they are hungry and can’t be soothed by other means we will offer them a feeding. Sometimes babies are hungrier than we expect. [Sleep steps are utilized at times when a feeding isn’t due. We would never hold off a baby that we know is hungry!]
9. And Figure out what is wrong – Aside from sleep, the sleep steps are also a way to soothe a fussy baby. Sometimes nothing works and the caregiver needs to figure out if there is a cause to the baby’s distress.

There is a lot more to this! There are full video examples of babies falling asleep with the sleep steps in the Baby Care Classes video series.

Can The Nightingales Sleep Train My Newborn?

No! Remember? Newborns get the sleep conditioning :]

Can your Newborn Care Specialists teach my newborn baby to sleep through the night?

Oh absolutely! If we are working in your home 4+ nights a week for 12 weeks and we can work some magic! We can help your baby sleep to the best of their ability. [As long as they are eating enough, on a good routine during the day and are comfortable.]

If we are doing live-in care, we can make much more progress because we can ensure babies are sleeping the “just right” amount during the day, taking into consideration an eat, play sleep schedule and appropriate wake windows.

Can you sleep train my 5+ month old baby?

We can’t sleep train babies on a standard overnight shift. Our overnight team is comprised of Newborn Care Specialists and Postpartum Doulas. It is not within their scope of training to create and implement a sleep training plan. Additionally, “sleep training” is a 24/7 process and isn’t effective without involving naps and an overall plan.

• We DO have Sleep Consultants at Nightingale Night Nurses. We can support you virtually, or in your home. Some things to know about our sleep training services:
• We only do “sleep training” [breaking habits] for babies over 5 months old.
• We take into account all of the things mentioned above [nutrition, environment, stimulation, schedule ++]
• We work together to create goals for your baby, toddler or child
• We work together to come up with a plan to get there. We don’t offer a one size fits all plans.
• Sleep training is 24/7. You can’t just work on nighttime without working on naps. Everyone caring for the baby has to be on board with being consistent

Still confused?

It’s okay! Let’s set up a call! Depending on your budget, your baby’s age and development we can almost ALWAYS help parents with sleep in some capacity or another.