How to keep your relationship strong with a new baby

Having a baby is a huge milestone for couples. Becoming parents together brings depth to your relationship, but the transition isn’t always easy. Having a baby with your partner can make you fall more deeply in love, but it can test even the strongest couples. If you’re wondering how to keep your relationship strong with a new baby, you’ve come to the right place!

Share parenting views

Ideally, you would share parenting views and ideals with your partner long before that positive pregnancy test. But life isn’t always so clear cut. Regardless of your story, it’s so important to talk about parenthood together during your pregnancy. What do you each picture it will be like to have a newborn? What are you most excited about or scared of? While your parenting values will grown and evolve over time, it’s essential to communicate about them before your baby arrives (and regularly after that, too!). 

It’s also totally normal if you’re unsure of where you stand on certain parenting issues. You are new to this, after all! Take a childbirth class and newborn care class, talk with other parents, and spend time with fellow parent friends, if possible. Becoming a new parent is easier when you have an idea of the kind of parent you want to be. 

Plan support

This is a super special time for the two of you, but you aren’t meant to do it all alone! It’s so important to gather your parenting village during pregnancy. That can look like organizing a meal train for the first few weeks postpartum, hiring a doula, or getting on the same page about how long your mother-in-laws can visit. Communicate the ways you’ll need support, and listen to your partner’s needs. If your parenting responsibilities are too heavy, your relationship can quickly become strained. Plan support now to prevent overwhelm and resentment later on. 

Plan one-on-one time

Date nights as a new parent will look differently than they do pre-baby. But the need to connect one-on-one is just as important. There are lots of ways to work this time into your life as new parents: plan movie nights at home, order dinner in, hire professional overnight newborn care, and as you move on from the newborn stage, hire a babysitter for date nights out. At the very beginning, your little one might technically be there for this “one-on-one” time, but the intention is what matters! Skip the dishes and binge your favorite TV show while your newborn cluster feeds. Hire a photographer to capture this sweet chapter of your lives together. Consider couples counseling to improve your communication and make sure each person’s needs are being heard. New parenthood is a huge milestone, and it’s so easy for your relationship to take a back seat. Making one-on-one time a priority is how to keep your relationship strong with a new baby. 

Always remember you’re on the same team

Even with the best of intentions, arguments and rifts in your relationship can happen as new parents. It’s so important to always remember that you’re on the same team. It’s not a competition of who is more sleep deprived or who did more household chores. If you feel resentment brewing, it’s essential to nip it in the bud. Talk with your partner about how you’re feeling and what needs aren’t being met. How to keep your relationship strong with a new baby doesn’t mean avoiding conflict – it means resolving to problem solve together and grow together. Communicate, plan time together, call in your support system, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Parenthood can bring old hurts and unresolved issues to the surface, and individual or couples therapy is a wonderful resource when you’re struggling. With intention and an growth mindset, having a new baby can truly strengthen your relationship with your partner.